Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. Andre Gide.

By the time many of us have reached adulthood, we have systematically transferred what we ave learned into most aspects of our lives. We have traded away much, if not all of our spontaneity and courage. Over time, we begin living an unauthentic life. We are not real. We have created what Carl Jung called our Persona. We put on our social face and live each day behind a mask.

When you stick to the rules you assume that everyone else is following suit. You naturally expect that they will act, think and and feel as you do and you get upset when they don’t.

When you are disappointed by the outcome of an event or another’s behaviour, it is because you expected it to be a certain way and it wasn’t.

For those whose existence is predicated on trying to control people and events, this can be especially onerous.

Game change is never easy.

Challenging and then breaking the rules that don’t fit your personality anymore can lead to extreme discomfort and anxiety. It is one of the first steps you have to take – and it is one of the most daunting because of the tribe’s death-like grip. There are sometimes in life, though, when you just have to break the china.

The amazing thing is, though, that growth restarts the moment you cast off the the rules that don’t fit anymore. 

No matter how difficult, the more uncomfortable you feel casting off these old rules, the greater the chance of your challenging and pushing aside old habits and beliefs that have been holding you back for so long and keeping you from being your true self.

It isn’t easy. Often it is one step forward, two steps back – but in those moments when you wonder how in the world you are going to make it, your courage will keep you forging ahead.

(This is an excerpt from my book, Life Without a Parachute. If it resonates, I invite you to read some of the subsequent posts covering ways to escape the rules that may be entrapping you and lead to thinking outside of the box. More in the next instalment… I hope you to see you again.)